If your friends start talking smack to you in a flag football game and say you are playing like a Golden Girl, grab a Snickers (snapping into a Slim Jim is so last decade). Super Bowl commercials at their finest.

This is what happens when you give a shoe salesman an advertisement with a beautiful blonde.

It is like a perfect storm when half-naked hotties take interest in football.

Even though Coke, Bud Light, and Snickers had half of the ads, they didn’t necessarily have the best ones.

Kendra Wilkinson’s boyfriend Hank Baskett and his Colts lost the Super Bowl. Kendra then probably got naked at some point to pout, right? Either way, she’s frequently naked for Playboy, so enjoy these and imagine it was after the game.

ESPN analyst Merril Hoge shows the world that the “Thong Song” might be something he listens to but also deeply understands.

Carl’s second cousin apparently had some bad info on who would be locked for a Super Bowl win.

Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend Reggie Bush and his Saints won the Super Bowl. Kim then probably got naked at some point to celebrate, right? Either way, she was naked in Playboy a few years ago, so enjoy that and imagine it was after the game.

New Orleans Saints player Randall Gay walks by a couple of hugging Colts. The photo is not only immature, but timeless, and also pretty Gay. A photo of Payton Manning crying as he walked by would have been just as good, if not better.

Danica Patrick getting a naked rubdown was apparently too hot to air on television. I challenge that the unedited, uncensored version of the commercial is not hot enough for the internet. Okay, maybe it is sort of.

Did you have money down on a guy name Pierre winning the Super Bowl MVP, The Who’s Pete Townshend having less than 5 guitar windmills, or the Saints’ coach getting blue Gatorade dumped on him? If so, time to settle up on those losing bets.

One of the best Super Bowl commercials of recent memory has to be the McDonald’s commercial of Michael Jordan playing H-O-R-S-E against Larry Bird for a Big Mac. This time around the commercial got remade like an 80’s movie with King James and Superman.

The stars are out in Miami for the Super Bowl and the celebrity High Fives are pouring like wine. It doesn’t seem like Peyton Manning or Drew Brees were in on it though.

Football players are still human beings, and are prone to channel their feelings through a single finger at times.

Almost as bad as those ridiculous Super Bowl commercials

Looking at guys in pads might be exciting today, but not the same exciting as girls in gear.

Get the Super Bowl players away from Miami Nightlife.

Men don’t seem to mind that wrestling is scripted, so they probably wouldn’t care if the Super Bowl was created in a writers’ room. They may want a little more spandex and man sweat though.

This guide is meant to be a cheatsheet of sorts for women to use when watching the Super Bowl. I would believe there are plenty of casual sports fan men that will find ithelpful to come to the party and not sound like an idiot.

Between the pageantry and touchdowns at the Super Bowls over the years, there were mayors on crack, murdering football players, streakers, and even Prince had a boner.