Before you do something incredibly stupid, for the sake of the future generations, wear a cup.

The next time you end up in jail, remember: that phone call isn’t as free as you think.

It must be really bad when a Vulcan shows emotion.

These yearbook pictures help remind us we can be stars with plastic surgery and dreams.

Rather than lighting up a cigarette after doing it, hop online and let everyone know you just had sexy time. If you are in a small town beware, you’ll be the only rabbits on the Google Map.

How can you tell if a girl with tattoos is emo, punk, rock, or just really into Twilight? If she is hot and close to naked, then she is likely a Suicide Girl.

15 “Did you know?” facts about boobs, you know, ladies’ breasts.

Any band that has the Cookie Monster as a lead singer has my undying devotion to brainlessly buy all of their CDs.

Some Guys like women in uniform… I like ‘em when they wear police cars on their feet.

If you don’t read what this list is, you might think it is a top 10 best movies, not top 10 that actually sucked. Family Guy is cited as a source, so take with a grain of salt.

Finally, all the 12 year old girls can practice docking with their fantasy vampires in private!

Mistakes can happen, sometimes you mistake a guys penis for a gun and sometimes you shoot yourself in the leg in front of kids.

Worst parent, or coolest mom ever?

When you have fortune cookies, you don’t need a real fortune teller.

Good news for the two men on earth who would bang Lady Gaga… she doesn’t have a penis!

People love to hate on Tom Cruise but his comedy cameos in Tropic Thunder and Austin Powers are classic. Also Will Ferrell kills his role in Wedding Crashers. “Ma, the Meatloaf!”

Beware of old men on buses… they might kick the shit out of you.

Well folks, Fransis is pissed. Nothing is going the way he wanted and on top of that he is fat. Fail.

Werewolves are so hot right now and Cheech and Chong are never out of style. So why not make an 8-bit Atari looking game that combines Nice Dreams with the Werewolf for “Cream Wolf”?

People don’t believe me when I say that news is getting less and less reliable.